Saying no...try it

5 September 2012

What a day!  Energy returns more and more each day and today was stellar in that manner.  No naps, high energy, a friend came over to visit, and almost off ibuprofen.  I visited with an old friend yesterday who in his 80's still keeps track of everything that happens back here.  He moved a few years ago and knows how to tune into online radio broadcasts, stays up to date on world events, and shares his wisdom, which is a priceless gift.

The day also has a preoccupation with my Aunt who is dying.  I wish I could be there for my family.  Emotion and death are not something we "do" well on that side. My instinct or reflex when they needed someone to be there to help with closure was to a) find a friend who could drive the 8 hours with me b) hop on a plane and play into my "save the day" complex or c) stay put, recover and pray constantly because God always provides for us in ways we do not fully understand.

While I would love to say c), I was one click away from being on a plane at 5:23am tomorrow morning.  It tears me up when I cannot be there for my family and it rips me open to say the word "no".  The only reason I didn't click was that my husband was opposed to the idea (and rightly so...I do get that).  For over a year, I have had a new mantra or promise in my marriage, that I will listen to my husband.  It doesn't necessarily mean that I will agree with my husband, but it does mean that I will listen and try to understand where he is coming from.  I've learned over the past year that the reason he says most things comes out of care and concern for me when I am on the verge of making a costly decision.  I've learned to trust that he has my best interest at heart even when it infuriates me at times.  (I might add that it only took 10+ years of marriage to get that close to sinking into my brain.)

Most of the time, it has to do with saying no instead of yes.  Whenever you or I say yes to something, it also means we are saying no to something or someone else.  Yet, at the moment of saying yes, we tend to get positive strokes or re-enforcement, not fully grasping the impact that one moment will have on our lives and the lives of those whom we love.

We have an opportunity to choose our words carefully, listen, and understand why we are saying either yes or no.  Could it be that I think God can't handle this one without me?  Audacious, don't you think?  The Creator of heaven and earth more than likely has things handled.  There is one Savior and you and I aren't it.  Jesus came to save us from our sins and probably from ourselves at times.  It takes us time to listen to what Jesus is saying to us and believe He has our best interest at heart.  We may even become infuriated, but with time we learn that God always has our best interest at heart.

Trust that God will see you and your loved ones through today.  You don't have to be the one who saves the day anymore than I do...God saves the day and our lives.  If we are going to say "yes"... say "yes" to God and try saying "no" to being God.

P.S.  When all was said and done, I chose c)  ;)