Family rules

7 September 2012

I have a craving to watch the Godfather triology.  Why?  Maybe it's seeing a movie made the year I was born.  It could be seeing legends like Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, James Caan... in their earlier days.  Or perhaps the fanciful Italian dancing music at the wedding as someone sings, "Luna Mezz' 'O Mare" (otherwise known to us outsiders as Hey Mama) or the lilting, forlorn Godfather theme song, "Speak Softly Love".   I have no idea other than I love being engrossed in "the family" and catching the inside phrases that we still hear bantered around culture today.  "I'm gonna make him an offer that he can't refuse."  "Leave the gun.  Take the cannoli."  "It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."  "Never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking."  "Never hate your enemies - it effects your judgement."  "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." "Take it to the mattresses."  This was the only one clear movie series I wanted to watch while recovering, and today might be that day.

Maybe it taps into the spoken and unspoken rules of my family.  Here are a few in my family:  Never have anyone over until the house is spotless.  Emotions are not to be expressed outwardly.  Be tough.  Have respect.  Remember that any action you make reflects on the entire family.  Work hard.  Sacrifice for your family.  Love is expressed through loyalty.  Keep your private life private.  Don't insert yourself where you don't belong.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Always go to church and serve God every moment of your life.

Family expectations and rules happen in all families and typically there is a reason they exist.  Those reasons may have happened a few generations ago, but still are enacted today.  As my aunt died yesterday, I have been thinking about families.  We are called together, no matter how different and a connection claims us whether we act on it or not.  Most families put the "fun" in dys'fun'ctional.  For better for worse, for richer or poorer...we all have them and they have us.