Embracing Change

3 September 2012

I don't think I could sleep anymore if I tried.  I think I could even give our college age son a run for his money on sleeping these days.  Today I woke up at 10:30 am.  This after going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 2 am, 3 am for ibuprofen and a snack!, and 4am.  The morning blurred by with the relaxed fashion of Saturday morning on a Labor Day Monday.  Girls busy playing together with a dance program on the Wii, reflective conversation with my husband while enjoyed late morning coffee and a trip around the garden.

Change surrounds us today.  Our dear neighbors move tomorrow.  They finished cleaning out the frig, scrubbing down the stove, pulling out the washer and dryer, packing up the last bits of life that looks useful but is a bugger to find a place for when boxing things up.  Their oldest daughter is self-sufficient these days being a college graduate in a new job.  Their youngest heading out today for her first year of college...car packed to the gills as her head barely shows through the rear view window.  Down-sizing life has been a summer process for the couple...realizing that change of pace, space, and aging faces will fit a lifetime into smaller and smaller rooms.  Funny how we start by having our own room in life (if we are fortunate enough) and end in one room at the end of a hallway in some assisted living space.  Even our spouse may be on a different floor.

Last times happened this weekend for many.  Last boat rides, campfires, water ski or tubing rides, family gatherings at a ritual spot that marks summer in the Midwest.  Cars return with sun kissed faces, bikes take some of their last spins around the neighborhood as a family outing, and outdoor projects are finished up until next spring.  We feel the changes all around us as the unspoken fall and first snows push themselves into our awareness.  Tailgating, Sunday football, Saturday soccer games in the cold, sports practices and school assignments reign as the sun sets earlier and earlier each night.

Harvesting zucchini (which I am never 100% sure how to spell no matter how many times I look it up!) persistent cucumbers and ever on their own schedule tomatoes made for an afternoon of winter stashing so we can enjoy the produce when 39 degrees below zero hits as it does almost every year.  Winds howl as the weather moves through reminding us that if we didn't know the season, it could be mistaken for bitter wind chills and dry snow swirling through the trees and over a barren landscape.  It's coming... ready or not.  Change steadily preparing us each day for going inward and reaching outward.

What will these changes mean for us this year?  They are common enough, yet every season has hallmarks that distinguish it for another.  Bodily changes or seasonal changes... they both carry their rhythm steadily...unstoppable in their determination, confidence and purpose.  Letting go of the last season and embracing the next.  40 cannot be 30 anymore than fall can be summer.

We enjoyed a meal from a friend as she stayed and shared her time as well.  Both precious gifts as our souls rub off on one another.  A meal is another reminder of eternity and things that matter the most...being fed physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Physically today's energy has increased and then crashed by 8:30pm.  I feel like a child being put to bed early or an old woman who cannot make it to the 10 o'clock news.  I am not taking my bowels for granted this past week.  Who knew stool softeners and gas x would be companions for the week?!?  I feel my guts struggling to regain their regularly scheduled program.  I have estrogen strapped on my arm like a boy scout patch to prevent hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings and bone loss.  My husband asked how long that would last if I took the patch off.  When I said up to six years, he was literally stunned and a bit scared (I think... although he wouldn't admit that in a million years! ).

The day has changed into night.  Embrace the ending that a new beginning might be born.