Need to be Needed

27 September 2012

Where did my motivation go?  My body feels as sluggish as a car rebelling against starting in the 30 below zero weather.  Being needed is a huge part of motivation if you ask me.  When I hear a small voice in the middle of the night, I am motivated to get moving in 60 seconds or less.  When I receive a call that someone is dying, I can be anywhere in town within minutes.   Watching my neighbor's dog makes it easy to wake up with the stars and take care of her.

Perhaps we all have a need to be needed.  At a wedding this past summer, I sat next to the great grandmother and grandfather of the groom.  They were both in their 90's.  Since the meal was served buffet style, they needed someone to get their food for them.  They were truly loved and respected and very cherished in their family.  But when their dinner requests were being taken, it sounded like someone asking a child what they would like for dinner.  Later, the grandfather said, "when you get old, you just get in the way and become a burden."  Another friend of mine in her late 80's said, "at my age, food is really all you have to look forward to each day."

I wonder if they were grieving how they used to be needed.  I wonder if they see how they are needed in different way today.  I wonder if they were remembering those times they plowed the fields, brought water up from the well, received such respect when they voiced their opinions and guidance, brought those seeking to do right by them into the world.  And now, the question of "am I needed anymore" seems to be spoken without a word uttered.

I have a deeper respect for those who are home bound; those who depend on others to buy and bring food; those who are bathed by someone who chooses the time and frequency; those who have time to sit and wait and wonder in the world.  This recovery time shows me it isn't an easy calling to allow yourself to need someone else.  Having regular chores or routines taken away, even temporarily gives me an insight into what it must be like for friends who do this for years.  I believe their wisdom and patience and prayers are deeply blessed by God and have yet to be fully recognized by us.

I am ready now.  Motivation has increased due to sharing with you.  When I don't want to do something and prefer to melt into the couch, remind me it is a blessing to have work to do.  There is grace in having things that need to be done.  For there are others who wish they could walk, wish they could garden, wish they could clean but no longer can.  It isn't meant to be our sole mode of operating...in perpetual work...but, rather, recognizing the holy work in the everyday routines.