Ask and it Shall be Given

14 September 2012

Friday. Most of time people have the blahs on Monday, but today they came on Friday.  My body desired more sleep and the abdominal decreed rest or pain would increased. So, I cooperated by  behaving and caught the clue when getting light headed, star patterns and briefly blacking out for a bit.  Hard to miss those kind of clues, huh!

If you are recovering from a hysterectomy, listen to the advice...rest.  Be at rest, recline, remember that all those incision sites on the inside are trying to dissolve their stitches.  This third week is a tough one for many, so you are not alone.

This week is also the time when overdoing it can cause the most damage.  We want this surgery to be a one time event without another fix-it event later.  Walk, get outside, let your friends pamper you a bit and share what's going on because your partner cannot read your mind.

I also discovered our partners cannot read what we need medically.  This morning when the unexpected pain and more fainting spells came, worry stretched across his face.  Be clear how he or she can help you.  Ice, heat, water, doctor trip, just sit with you, get you to bed, elevate your legs... what do you need?  Be as clear as possible.

Figuring out what we need is no small matter because a good portion of the time, we may not have a clue what we need.  (Sorry to say!)
Try this when communicating with your partner:

When I ____(name the situation)____,
I feel ______(feeling word...not thinking word)__,
because I __ (share how the situation impacts you personally/your beliefs)
and I need __(say what you need)____.

I could sound like this:  When I am feeling wiped out and faint, I feel unmotivated because I have no energy and I need your help in getting me situated before you leave today.

OR:  When I am at home recovering after a long week and see the housework needing to be done, I feel patient because I cannot rush this process and need your understanding.

The world still spins and the stars follow their courses through recovery.  Don't expect mind readers around you, not matter how long you've been together.  Share what you need and let the rest be.