Nine years ago my husband and I awaited the birth of our first child. She was a miracle child of sorts. Now, the womb that held both she and our second child is forever gone. Endometriosis plagued my gut for most of my reproductive life. It strangled tubes, plastered ovaries in odd positions, cellophaned my uterus and eventually wound around my bowels and edged onto my stomach. A bit more than I thought they would find.
It's a pain-filled day today. The scrapping they did on top of the hysterectomy and oophorectomy (ovary removal) leaves me feeling raw inside. The physical pain gnaws away. For all those who say recovery is a piece of cake...keep it to yourselves! It's hard to give up independence, ask for help, play by the rules. Endurance hasn't arrived. I wake, visit, sleep, wake, visit, sleep. Today, I stayed up all day and am shot.
There is a blend of the past and the present in today. My parents just left as they did when Rachel was born. There is joy from having been able to give birth when most women with this disease don't have that opportunity or gift. The loss of a time period and chapter in life.
Solace. There is a quietness in today.
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